Dating doesn’t have to be a grueling and frustrating process. After speaking with thousands of singles dating both online and offline in search of their “soul mate” the following collection of tips will help guide you through your dating “process”. Whether you are online dating, speed dating, going to singles events and cruises, using a match making service or going to your local bar incorporating the “traditional ways” of meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right; it’s important to remember that it IS a process. Finding the right person actually does require effort on your part! So chin up, roll up your sleeves and have the right attitude about finding, meeting and attracting your ideal partner.
Do you know what your relationship goals are? Are you interested in a casual non commitment type fling? Searching for a late night booty call or friends with benefits? Are you wanting companionship? Do you want a casual relationship leading to a long-term relationship? Or are you looking for “The One”? It’s important that you know exactly what your dating goals are, and that you communicate honestly what your intentions are in order to not waste anybody’s time. Dating compatibility also includes the type of relationship you want. Be clear and honest about it.
It’s important that you prepare for dating! First impressions do matter when it comes to dating, especially if you are dating online or being set up on a “blind date”. Personal hygiene is a big factor to most people I’ve spoken to. Always be presentable and dress appropriately for the occasion or situation on your “first date”. Start the habit of looking and feeling your best. If you were procrastinating on that diet or exercising, now is the time to motivate yourself to get to it! Does your wardrobe need to be updated? Some singles have gone as far as hiring an image consultant to help them with their fashion sense and helping them coordinate outfits to fit and match the personality and style of the person. Do you need a hair cut? Shave? Check your nails, hair and teeth. Do you need a cleaning or whitening? A beautiful smile is a huge turn on and a very important attraction factor for both sexes. This is the time to spoil yourself and find things and styles that flatter you.
The best dating advice I can give to anyone is to always have a positive attitude. You’re on a date, so enjoy yourself! It’s important that you understand and appreciate that the person you are meeting may NOT be the right one. You may be polar opposites! But this doesn’t give you the green light to be rude, dismissive or angry. Things may not always work out, but don’t blame yourself or start pointing fingers because you had a dating disaster. It’s only a disaster because you allow it to be. The person you are with is probably sharing the same feelings. Your first dates should generally be simple and casual so you are both relaxed.
Your body language says a lot about you. Starting with your handshake, it’s really the FIRST non-verbal impression you are making to your potential new partner. Make sure your hands are dry..there’s nothing sexy about clammy limp palms. Be sure you extend your hand out fully and have a warm and confident, but not knuckle breaking hand shake. Your overall posture should be “open” and not “closed”. Keep your back straight and shoulders up. Slouching is a definite no no, as it could reflect a sloth like and timid personality.
To be successful at anything requires practice. There are hundreds of singles that I’ve spoken to that date 2-3 times a week! You can’t be successful at dating if you don’t have any practise. As you date different people and learn about what you are looking for this will get you closer and closer to finding the right person. Always be realistic and understand that people come and go, and not all dates will involve romance. If you set your expectations too high, you will only disappoint yourself and take away from the experience of meeting someone new and possibly making a friend. Most people do have something interesting to offer and you can try and learn something from each date.
Not only is it important to understand what your relationship goals are, but it’s important to know the type of person you are looking for and the ideal qualities you’d like your partner to have. Make sure that you take the time to write your “list” of qualities and the important values you want to share with this person. If you set expectations that are NOT inline with your own lifestyle and what you are able to offer, you will be disappointed. An example of that would be “I’m not interested in dating a smoker because one day I’m going to quit”, or “I don’t want anyone overweight, because in 6-9 months I’m going to lose 40 pounds”.
Key core values and important areas of compatibility to consider would be relationship goals, sexual attitudes, family values, career and lifestyle goals.
So now that you’ve been given these great tips from years of experience and collection of stories from singles in search of their partners using multiple sources for dating…you may be well on your way to having a fun, positive and successful dating experience!